Hello all, (all being my delightful nonexistent readers. And if I do have readers... HI! :D )
Just posted on twitter.
....wow, just reading over that I'm thinking, that's just way to boring. NO WONDER MY READERS ARE IMAGINARY!
Anywho,
I've recently felt the urge to expand my artistic horizons by polishes and maybe even gaining some new skills. A task that was swiftly thwarted by the fact that I couldn't find my tablet pen.
-sigh- there's just so many things wrong with this right here that I might not even wanna try to list.
But at any rate, I've also been thinking about expanding my written horizons as well. Cause frankly, it recently came to my attention that I'm a hack.
God! I just usually end up writing other peoples fan fiction! And first it was just a fun exercise and a chance to get noticed by someone. ANYONE! Just so I could get some feed back. Or I guess, more feedback. From an audience of more varity. I know what my friends like. I know what my mom likes. If I wanted to, I could probably write a story that they'd absolutely love. But I'm not writing just for them. Or really, not for them at all. I'm writing for my own purposes. Which tends to fall back into the field of me just, really really wanting to entertain people. To give them something to enjoy. I'm not saying that I don't appreciate my friend's and family's feed back, or that they don't ever surprise me in anyway. I'm just saying that I've come to know them so well, that I can sometimes predict what their general reaction is gonna be. And they probably know what I've written about.
I just basically need some fresh response is all. Again, that's not to say I'd stop going to my parents and my friends for input. I love and respect their insight into my work, and even when I probably live miles away and am working on a comic or cartoon or book or whatever the hell I damn well end up working on, their probably the first people I'll call, the first people to see it before anyone else does, and at some times, probably the only people whose opinions I care about. Because they're just so damn near to my heart. <3~
Anywho. My plan so far is this;
I'm going to finish off some of the stuff I'm writing for other people because I feel as though I owe it to them and they've just always been so patience. (after all, they are my friends too. Maybe not as close as the ones right next to me, but friends none the least! D< )
Then once that's done, I'm just going to drive head first into my own work. Comics, drawing, writing, WHATEVER! My own characters, my own ideas, my own damn stuff. And I'm going to start breathing so much life and creativity into other peoples characters and give some TCL to my own sweet babies. I feel like for the first time in my life tho, I'm starting to honestly take the initiative into this. (maybe not the thing I most need to put my enthusiasm in, but it's definitely important) And I feel like just this gigantic leap into dark shark infested waters is really just the first big step for me. I'm finally working on getting stuff done. And that's a pretty grand strand in the right direction I think. (some out there who aren't reading this at all yet still somehow seem to know the contents of my page without even visiting my page might be thinking, "hey. getting started and actually doing something is no big leap. it's not that big of a deal." Yeah, well, for me it is. I can't really explain WHY. But just know, that it really is something for me. I guess all those years of gentle torment from my peers has finally sunken in and is actually starting to take a negative toll on me. I'm afraid of being hated. Because I know honestly what it's like, and I didn't think it was very funny. It's lonely at the bottom. In the shadows. in the dark. And now that I've managed to so easily get into the light and have been welcomed by a few kindly beings, I'm terrified of going back into the dark. Scared of turning numb. Cause that's the only way to escape the bitter cold. I like being so damn happy. I like seeing smiles. Like I said before, I like to know I've made people happy that day. That I made them feel something. That I have actually entertained them. So smiles and laughter, they really are like a drug to me. I'm addicted to happiness. I can't get enough of it. And I'd like to know that I helped someone else get addict to it too. If only for a day. But I guess I'm still just paranoid about the whispers in the dark areas you can't see on stage. Those hateful words that just seem to be bitter and mean for the lone sake of being bitter and mean. Those truly are my bane. My slowly, life zapping poison. And I've never been able to truly escape them.) (...WOW, the parenthesis was long! :D Hahaha)
So anyways yeah.
I feel like now, after this sort of, long onward droning sad sack of wet puppies seems like the best time to say,
I've been thinking about doing stand up.
-enter awkward chuckle track here-
Not as an actual profession mind you. Just kind of a whim~
Just another swan dive off height frightening places to help me along with things. Plus, I really do just LOVE performing.
I would be at a con though. Nerdy aimed humor. Written a few jokes about pokemon that my friend of good taste says was good. Of course before I take such a DARING leap I'm going to test it out on my dear dear friends at manga club. Cause trying nerd jokes out on my other friends would most likely prove... ineffective.
I also started drawing some comics featuring an old idea I had and am just now getting around to.
(hopefully he'll get a good reaction and we'll all see more of him. Even if the reaction to him flat lines, I'll probably still make more comics of him. Cause god damnit, he's just fun to do. ....HEY! SOMETIMES I NEED TO BE THE ONE I ENTERTAIN, ALRIGHT! Hell, If I can't find something that makes me laugh, lord knows I'll be useless at making YOU laugh.)
A list of other things I'm hoping to dip my foot into this year (just cause it's stuff that I don't plan to completely commit to, but stuff I've always really wanted to do);
-one is to record my voice. Singing and maybe a bit of speaking. Just to try and see if I can get a gig dubbing anything. (tho the singing is more just cause, I love to sing and I've been told I have a nice voice. One of my friends actually told me something that was basically along the lines of "screw art! Go into singing! You have the voice of a fucking angel!! D< " haha, good I love her <3 ~ )
-Then there's the stand up that we've talked about. And I wanna try and get cast in something. Just a random play, but I really wanna just, like, BE in one, ya know. Came veeeeery close on a few occasions, but no dice.)
-then there's the comics. I definitely wanna do more of those! :3 (I'm also trying to get better at my art skills since I'm goin' at it anyways)
-And tops on my list is start doing more animation of things. I actually really wanted to start this kinda crappy animation series to post on YouTube. It would have basically ended up looking like Daniel Flloyd's work. Not the best, but classy none the least. Though I just found out something today that's gonna put a kink in my plan. Not a stopper mind you, but it is gonna make it much harder. (But I swear to you all by all that is good, you WILL see something of that type coming from me come the end of the year!! D< )
-And then there's the final things which is another web series, except this ones not animated. My two biggest problems so far are, writing (trying to think up a few more ideas so this thing has a least a CHANCE of staying a float. plus, I've been trying to get like minded and rather funny friends to help write the scripts cause I'd know that we'd love it and that they would be of greater quality then. But getting people together over summer is HAAARD. D: they're all away on holidays and stuff.) and then there's casting. (UGH. Don't even wanna start.... --3-- )
so alot to do, but I finally got some fire in my belly (or is that just earl grey tea?) so I plan to get the job done!! >D oh hellz yeah!
So anyways. That post was really long. Random long post huzzah hooray! But I'm honestly gonna try and avoid posting here till I get to the end of the week and stuff. (since this is weekly now) Mainly to escape this sort of thing happening again. -points up at all the scolding hot sad face she just poured on all of your laps-( hehe, sorry. ^^; Didn't really mean to do that... )
ANYWHOZ!
Wish me luck! I'll see you next week! (gonna try to finish the comic pages by then) Promise next time my material will be better! PROMISE! D: (plz don't leave me all alone. If you do, then more horrid pukings on blog pages like this post will end up happening again! I just know it! And I won't be able to control myself! I'm some what weak! D: )
hahahaha, but no seriously, :D
Have a great start of the school year/ last few days of summer everyone!! (I know I sure as hell am gonna try! )
Love you all <3~
Peace!
ps: sorry if I misspelled anything. I need to stop typing so fast.
(Ker-plunk!~)
